Jane’s story

22 August 2017

Jane’s story

‘God has performed miracles in my life and taken me quite literally from a living hell into his loving light. I want people to know he is alive and well and a God of miracles.’

Posted in the blog by New Wine

‘I was brought up in a fairly normal family and was very outgoing and fun-loving as a child. My family were non-believers. When I was 14 I was raped by a man and felt unable to tell anyone. I lost myself in drugs (weed, speed, acid, crack cocaine, you name it, i tried it). And then I found heroin. It was perfect for me as I didn’t want to feel anything. I was full of sadness, shame, guilt, resentment. I suffered violent relationships and was involved in crime. I went to court a few times but spared prison.

At 19 I had my angel sent to me, my daughter Kelly, who has stood by me through everything. Along with God she was my rock. To cut a long story short, I was a slave to drugs from 14 to 39. I felt utterly hopeless, even the great love I had for my daughter couldn’t stop me. I looked like the walking dead; weighed just 6.5 stone, scars from injecting in both arms. I was lost. My daughter was worried I was going to die, and managed to get funding for detox 200 miles away.

The withdrawal from drugs after so many years was indescribable. I couldn’t sleep for 3 months. I could hardly eat. After 2 weeks I couldn’t stand it and was on my way out the door, when i heard the song ‘You got the love I need to see me through’, referring to God. It had been mine and my daughter’s song. I turned back and somehow carried on. I got kicked out of that detox programme (as you’re only allowed 2 hours’ visiting time and I missed my daughter so sneaked her in for 6 hours) but 2 weeks later got funding for a different centre — shock horror, it was a Christian one!

I wasn’t impressed but was desperate. I wanted to leave after a couple of months, especially as I missed my daughter so much. One New Year’s Eve I went into the kitchen and saw a rainbow around the light bulb, which I found weird. Later, after midnight, I saw another rainbow around the moon. I showed the staff member and asked what it meant. She explained it represented a covenant with God. I took that to mean his promise to me that if I stayed, everything should be okay. A few days later, I gave my life to Christ. I completed a 12-step God-given recovery programme. Many more amazing things have happened. I believed I’d die an addict. I’m the mum I’ve always dreamt of being. I’m a good daughter. I got married. I joined a church and a home group. I even got a job as a recovery practitioner in rehab. I could go on an on.

God gave me back my life. No power on this earth could do that. I’d given up hope and he got me through it all. I’ve truly forgiven the abusers from my past. I’ve forgiven myself 90%, which is truly wonderful as I was consumed with guilt (I can’t forgive myself 100% for being addicted for most of my daughter’s life).

I became a grandmother 10 weeks ago and was privileged to see beautiful Jasmine (‘Gift from God’ in Hebrew) born.

I’m celebrating 7 years clean in March and I owe it all to God. Praise be to God. How I love him.’

Jane

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